Dating // Stu Tully

Stu Tully 

It had been a long time since I’d been on a date, let alone been in a relationship (over five years, to be exact). After a bad breakup, I felt I didn’t have anything to offer to a lady in a relationship, `additionally, I had pretty low self-esteem about myself in general and I just stopped trying.

Thankfully, the Start Experiment helped me to rid myself of this mindset. One of the goals I set for the initial 24 days was to go on a proper date with someone I met in real life. To be honest, I felt this was the most difficult of my challenges because it depended on someone else. My other goals could be accomplished through self-discipline, but this one needed an outsider to agree to go out with me.

Without anyone on my dating radar, I took the risk of opening myself up more. I began attending all sorts of activities and gatherings with the intent of simply meeting people. I dropped my usual quiet façade and began introducing myself to people, taking the initiative instead of waiting for them to ask me.

The turning point came at a wedding reception I attended on day 20 of the experiment. Instead of just sitting off to the side, I actively asked girls to dance. It was a risk, considering I didn’t know any of the persons I asked, but one agreed. We ended up dancing together for the rest of the night. Afterwards, I asked her to go to dinner the next week. She agreed. And the rest is history, so they say.

I write this the day after our dinner date. It went quite well. I’m not sure if it will develop into a proper relationship, and frankly, I don’t care. I put myself more out there than I had in years, and although taking the risk was frightening, it was ultimately worth it. I could have never imagined this particular goal succeeding when I started the experiment, yet here I sit, knowing that making the risk was indeed the best course of action.