Transformer

He was known as “Fat Ben.”

As far back as he can remember, Ben Dempsey was overweight.

He remembers the bullying. He remembers the hiding.

“I didn’t like being outside, didn’t want to be around other kids. I stayed in my house and played video games. The more you hear you’re not good enough, the more you believe it. I just didn’t think I amounted to much.”

As Ben grew up in Atlanta, his father tried to encourage him to get involved in sports and change his diet, but the lack of confidence shut down his efforts. He finally tried out for the wrestling team and earned a spot in the heavyweight class. But his Freshman year in high school, he broke his hip. At 5’5” and 152 pounds, the strain on his body was too great. He was a homebound student for the rest of the school year. By that fall, his weight jumped to nearly 200 pounds. Life was an out-of-control rollercoaster, spiraling ever downward. He dropped out of sports his sophomore year and refused to try again.

There was one place where Ben did feel important – in caring for others. His senior year, he earned certification as a nursing assistant, and he went on to pursue healthcare as a profession.

As a physical therapist, he again came face-to-face with the reality of his own health.  “Folks would ask me ‘why should I take care of myself when you don’t?’ I didn’t have an answer. You just don’t see it until there’s that thing – that one defining moment – when the walls come crashing in.”

For Ben, that moment happened in 2009, when he became a follower of Jesus Christ. The more time he spent in scripture, the more he began to understand his worth.  In July, he and his wife Elizabeth decided to enjoy a day at Six Flags. “I am a huge Superman fan, and that year they premiered Superman: Ultimate Flight. I was like a little kid – so excited. We waited in line for an hour and a half. And when it was time to ride, I couldn’t get the harness to fasten. It just wouldn’t reach. One of the workers came over to help, but nothing worked.”

Humiliated and angry, Ben watched as his wife rode the ride. He even found the manager and told him “you need at least one fat guy ride in this park.” He wanted things to be different. He wanted to feel normal.

On the morning of July 22, he woke up with a resolve he’d never felt before. It was time to change. “I wanted to be healthy for my wife and my step-son Chris. But more than anything, I had to be healthy for me. I wanted to live. So that morning, I chose to start.”

As an adult, Ben had tried popular diets, but he just wanted to be done with it all. He would lose 30 pounds and gain 50 back. The idea of working to lose weight was overwhelming. But at 360 pounds, suffering from hypertension and depression, he knew he had to do more than simply lose weight. It was time to jump in and live a whole new kind of life.

His starting point: confront a serious addiction to soft drinks. “I would drink 8 to 10 sodas a day. I knew the only way to quit was to go cold turkey. I knew that if I couldn’t stop this one problem, I wouldn’t succeed at anything.”

That first week, Ben lost 12 pounds.

That single modification led to even more changes. With his wife’s help, he changed his diet. Then he started to walk. At first, he couldn’t walk five minutes without gasping for air, but Ben didn’t give up. Five minutes became 30. Thirty minutes became 2 hours. Then Ben decided he was up for a true challenge.  “I was determined to do the Peachtree Road Race – the largest 10K in the world. My goal was simple – I wanted to finish it without dying. I didn’t care how I got to the finish line. I was just going to get there.”

One year later, on July 4, 2010, Ben crossed that finish line. Months later, he ran his first half-marathon.  A marathon and triathlon followed. “I found that choosing one big goal a year would keep me moving forward, so I wouldn’t fall back and surrender to my old ways.”

Ben is currently training for a 65-mile bike ride in November. His 2013 goal? Become a cyclist. “I think about that kid in high school, the one who felt they couldn’t do anything. That kid would never believe this.”

It’s taken Ben four years to lose 160 pounds. It’s been a slow, deliberate journey, but he wouldn’t want it any other way. “I get so concerned when I see people think weight loss can happen quickly because of what they see in media. You can’t compare your journey to reality TV shows. They give false expectations. Things don’t really last without a change of heart and a change of mind.

 “My marriage, my career – everything has been impacted by this. I want to help others. I believe in myself. I’ve finally found my passion in the process.”

That passion is to guide other people to their own Start toward better health, and to the hope that a better life is possible.  Ben is their coach, their cheerleader, and their accountability partner as they make life changes.  “So many people say ‘I can help you,’ but if you’ve not been through it, it’s hard to truly understand. The weight on the scale doesn’t mean things are over. The journey never stops. There’s always the next thing to fight for, to work toward, to believe in.”

Ben is finishing his first book, Losing to Win, which chronicles the steps he took to discover himself. His goal is to have the book published by the week of the START Conference. More than a memoir, the book is also a symbol of what he’s learned about the power of community.

 “I went to Jon’s Quitter conference last fall, and met some amazing guys, including Andy Traub. We stayed up late talking about hopes and dreams. Andy’s dream was to use his passion for writing to become debt-free. A year later, his book Early to Rise has allowed that to happen. And in less than two months of the START Experiment, I’ve seen folks be real, be vulnerable, share failures and successes. It’s the first community I’ve ever been in like this. The relationships built through this community have provided me with encouragement and accountability.”

Ben hopes to be remembered as someone who made a difference in the lives of others. “If it’s just one life, that’s fine. Whatever God wants to do with me, it’s OK. The journey itself has been remarkable.”

Ben Dempsey