Posts by Teri Modisette
Finding My Way in the Dark
by Ronei Hardin as told to Teri Modisette My name is Ronei, and this is one of the darkest hours of my life. It’s very hard for for me to say, but I’m losing my husband. This is my life now–I go to my first job and teach high school English all day. Then I go to my second job. When I’m done there, it’s back to the hospital to be with my husband, Sam. We are introverts as individuals and as a couple. What I have is special, so I’m cautious, protective of my family, and deeply private. Sam worked in the stage lighting and production industry for several popular country music and popular touring artists. He was in the middle of programming Toby Keith’s lighting exactly one week before our daughter’s high school graduation on May 25. That meant Sam would get to go with me, see our daughter graduate, and hear her commencement speech. He finished Toby Keith’s rehearsal schedule the day before graduation. When he came home, I knew something was very wrong. His whole body was a terrifying, glowing, zombie yellow–so yellow he scared his co-workers. I said, “Why didn’t you tell me about this?” He insisted that he wouldn’t go to the hospital until he watched our daughter graduate and heard her commencement speech. I was adamant that he go to the hospital immediately. Neither of us would budge, so we struck a compromise: he’d go to graduation if I could take him straight to the E.R. afterward. We went to graduation, she delivered her speech, and we left as soon as it was over. We spent the next six days in critical care. The test results said hepatocellular carcinoma: liver cancer. Sam has faced cancer twice before and kicked it in the teeth, but the doctors are very clear: the calendar is our enemy. At five months into his 12-month best-case scenario, we are regularly in and out of hospitals. I joined Round 2 of the Start Experiment because I knew it would give me a chance to be part of someone else’s story. I wanted to keep pouring into people the things I have to offer. I needed to know I wasn’t the only one walking through the darkest hour of my life. While everyone in the Experiment was talking about whether they were going to the Start Conference, I sat in the area of Vanderbilt hospital reserved for family members of those having serious surgery. There were moms crying because their kids’ lives hung in the balance. Grandchildren weeping because grandpa had had a heart attack. I was surrounded by high-level drama and to top it all off, the START Conference was literally going to happen right down the street from my second job. All that happiness and inspiration, right down the street. I sat in that waiting room and thought, “I can’t listen to this.” I was crying and thinking, “Why is this happening to me?” I put on my headphones, got my laptop, and found a corner. I was at the end of my hope. I remember telling God, “When Sam goes, please take me too.” At that point, I didn’t care anymore. At first, I didn’t have it in me to say anything about my situation, but sitting in that waiting room, I thought, “Crap. I need to say something. I have to write something to help me lay this all down and let it go.” I logged into my blog–which was full of tumbleweeds and dust bunnies at that point–and started drafting a post. Actually, it was my “Dear Jon” letter. I was scared the letter would come off as a whine letter when I was honestly trying to be funny. You see, if I can find the funny in any given situation, that’s when God shows up for me. He knows my sense of humor and that’s how He comforts and supports me. I posted the letter. Then I put the link in the Start Experiment with the headline, “Here goes nothing.” I burst into tears,...
Read MoreThree Ways To Bump Your Start to the Next Level
by Sean Nisil When I began this journey, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Lured in by the mystery, anticipation of adventure, and the promise of a good fight, I laid out a road map, took a deep breath, and left the Shire (Yes…I went there. You’re welcome.). In my travels, I learned a few things. Perhaps they will help on your own journey beyond your door. 1. Claim Your Dream As the modern philosopher Gotye put it, “You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness.” Up to this point, you’ve sat on the fence while Fear claimed victory over your dreams. But once you hear the trumpet sound, comfortable discontent is no longer acceptable. It’s time to rise to your feet. Of course you want to do more, feel better, be different, but here’s the thing: in order to live with passion, inspire others, and impact the world, you have to believe in yourself first. At the end of the day, the buck stops with you. Send that dream out of your head and into the world. Tell your friends and family. Tell your co-workers. Put it on your social media profiles. Tattoo it on your face (#allthecommitment). If you want an awesome, dangerous, and adventurous life, stop hiding and be honest about your dream. Now. 2. Plug Into Community The genesis of the START Experiment was the idea that Fear hates community. The START Experiment is a group of dreamers and misfits who have learned to embrace who they are as individuals and as a group. If you haven’t found a tribe (big or small) who encourage and equip you to take risks and achieve greatness, it’s time to start looking for that group of people. Large groups of encouragers are like an auditorium, while your trusted inner circle is like a classroom. The large group will support you with stories of success, helpful information, and hilarious pranks to alleviate your stress. Within your inner circle, you can dig into the details and daily steps of your goals. You cannot achieve your dream alone. A group of like-minded friends will help you find that critical tipping point that makes all the difference. And one more thing–there’s nothing quite like seeing their dreams come true, too. 3. Get STARTed As W. Clement Stone puts it, “Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will.” Don’t worry about perfection at this point. Just start. Maybe you can’t punch Fear in the face on day one. That’s okay. Start by stepping on its toe. Then poke it in the eye. Before you know it, you’ll be throat-punching Fear in the morning and giving it flying round-house kicks all afternoon. This is your chance. This is your life. Get STARTed. Sean Nisil is a writer, speaker, and financial coach. Read his blog at www.SeanNisil.com and follow him on Twitter...
Read MoreHello, Monsters
Hello, Monsters by Nicole Romero There was a time when my daughter was very scared of monsters. These were nights of 3 am room visits and long conversations in the dark; nights when the blinking light on the smoke detector threatened to eat her in her sleep. “Face your monsters,” I’d say. “Monsters chase us when we run. But, when you turn to face them, they either run away or they play with you.” I wrote this poem as a way to finally take my own advice and face down my fears. No more lost years. No more hiding. I needed to turn and face my own monsters. “Fear is a lion, that only backs down when we stop acting like prey and stand our ground.” Nicole Romero is a poet, speaker and joy ninja… a girl learning to punch fear in the face one word at a time. Writing at www.1000strands.com....
Read MoreStart by Saying “No.”
Start by Saying “NO.” by Mike Loomis I grew up in a house jammed with music. Or drums, anyway. My dad was a drummer, so these instruments were part of the living room furniture and a part of me. As I was reading the book, Start, by Jon Acuff, this scene from childhood came into playback: In fourth grade, when it was time to join band, my classmates and I lined up to select our weapons of choice. “But you have good, long arms – perfect for playing the trombone!” This was the best sales pitch the music teacher could muster after informing me that too many kids had already signed up to play the drums. Understandable. The system couldn’t please every one of my classmates. Somebody had to play the trombone, right? Wrong. I’m a pretty laid-back person, so resisting all the sweet-talk was not normal for me. (And for the record, “trombone arms” definitely wasn’t on my wish-list of manly attributes). The standoff was intense. After some repetitive pencil-tapping exercises, my insistence paid off. I grabbed those giant wooden drumsticks and ran out the door! It was the only outcome I could live with peacefully. This kind of “no alternative” resolve has not always guided me. I’ve sometimes fiddled for years on “important” projects, juggling assorted aspects of my career so others wouldn’t be disappointed. Sure, there are needs to fill, but honestly, it’s scary to start doing the one thing you love. Dueling Banjos We face pressure from voices inside, and outside, our heads. Think about all the times your teacher, boss, friends, or even text messages try to pull you toward a path where you’re “needed.” You might be qualified, but deep inside, you want to resist and insist. My resolve to play those drums greatly impacted my life, relationships, and passport stamps. Years later, I toured all over the US, USSR, and Eastern Europe playing drums. The Snare You don’t need to have it all figured out (although I hope you caught the clever drum reference above). We just have to stop for a beat and realize how we’re making choices every day. We are surrounded by high-pressure needs. We are dealing with our own voices of doubt. Take stock of these things, and when necessary, resist. Insist. Start. Someone else will play the clarinet. You don’t have to do it. Yes, you’re a grownup, but every once in a while, it’s okay to listen to the wise voice of that stubborn inner-9-year-old. Say NO to something right now. Consider it practice. Jon Acuff’s book, Start, has helped me do that in heaps, and the results are showing up! So, Flute Fingers… What do you really want to play? Mike Loomis helps people launch and grow their dream projects. He’s strategic partner to business owners, authors, and non-profits. He and his wife live in the mountains of Colorado with their pet moose. www.MikeLoomis.CO <http://www.MikeLoomis.CO> Creative Commons attribution: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mitch98000/3320611000/ ...
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